Write a short story about a burglary using the following words in order:
1. Waffle
2. Darling
3. Evangelical
4. Garbage
5. Gun
6. Mock
As Markus Landus sneaked stealthy thought the unlocked and now forced opened window, he again asked himself why the hell he was doing this. It wasn't because he needed the money, and it for damn sure wasn't for the thrill, he thought as he racked his knee on a end table right inside the window.
"Ow!... God.... waffle!!!" he said, changing the word he meant to say at the last minute, reminding himself he had given up swearing for lint.
"Stupid da..table.... grrrr." he whispered to himself, rubbing his knee rigorously. Pulling out the small flashlight and switching it on he glanced around the room. Spare bedroom, he guessed as he noticed the sparse decoration. Leave it to Darling to tell him the wrong window to go in. According to her it was supposed to the Office room. He was supposed to be able to get in, grab the papers out of the 2nd drawer in the cabinet and get right back out. But no, now he was going to have to search out the office by playing hide and seek with the owners of this lovely home.
Shaking his head, he wondered why again he was in this damn house... it was ok if he only thought the swear words, wasn't it? Then again, Breaking and Entering and then stealing was probably a bit higher up on the list of sins than swearing wasn't it? Either way he needed to get this done so he could get the hell out. He, quietly and slowly, turned the knob of the door and pulled it open to glance out.He froze. Afraid to move a muscle his mind raced as he heard something. A voice drifted out to him from down the hall. He knew that voice.It was that Evangelical guru that spoke to the masses on television. He rolled his eyes in annoyance at the fact he was ready to run like a scared little girl screaming for his mommy at that voice.
Straightening up he pulled his shoulders back and took a deep breath. I can do this, he thought. Darling asked him to do this and he agreed. Now he had to be and man and keep his word.
He stepped through the door and tip toed down the hall. The first door on his right lead to a small bathroom,dimly lit by a nightlight. As he passed it, he smelled a faint aroma of peaches drifting out of it. Walking slowly he pressed on in the darkness, his hand running along the wall hoping to feel the edge of the wall when it came. He didn't have to wait long. As he stepped forward. around the sharp corner of the wall he saw a dim light filtering through a crack in one of the doors. Seeing it as a beckoning beacon calling his name, or like the blue light of the Zapper calling to the mosquito, he stepped toward it, thinking at least now he wasn't in complete darkness and perhaps the office he was looking for was through that door. If it was occupied he could claim to Darling he was unable to grab the papers because someone was in there, and if it was empty he could stride in there and grab them without even turning on the light, that already shone brightly. So consumed in his thoughts, that this might nearly be over, his caution dissipated too early and he tripped falling face first, barely getting his hands down in front of him in time to keep his head from smacking against the carpeted floor. Looking around he spotted his feet tangled up in a bag of trash.
"Who the hell places Garbage in the middle of their hallway like that, that's downright dangerous?" He seethed quietly as he tried to righten himself back up.
"What the hell was that?" he heard a gruff voice snap from a room that came from above.
"Damn!" he whispered, giving up all intentions on the swearing. He quickly untangled himself and ran to the door with the light. Quickly peeking in and noticing it was empty, he went in and closed the door behind him, locking it against the gruff voiced man he was sure was heading to him at this very moment.
"Right. Now I am in the office I need."
He glanced around and spotted the cabinet that Darling spoke about and reached for the 2nd drawer. In it contained the paperwork. Snatching it and throwing it in his jacket, he searched for an alternative way out. Seeing nothing he began to swear silently to himself. Hearing footsteps heading in his direction he again checked the lock and shut off the light. To his amazement, once the light was shut off he saw a glimmer of light coming from behind the cabinet, that he now recognized was covering up a window. Pushing the cabinet to the side he threw open the window and climbed out just as the door knob began to jiggle.
Trying to calm his breathing he headed back to Darlings place to get rid of the stupid papers that he just risked his life for in return for maybe if he was lucky a good romp or even just a wicked BJ. He shook his head at his stupidity but with the slight anticipation of what may come as the reward for what he just accomplished. He rang the doorbell to the apartment, that happened to sit in one of the shadier neighborhoods in town.
"Hello?" Asked the seductive, raspy voice.
"Hey Dar, I got it... Ring me in." he answered into the intercom and waited for the buzz to open the door. Three flights later, because the elevator broke down decades ago and no one bothered to fix it, he finally came to her door and just walked in. Darling stood in the living room against the wall wearing nothing but a tiny black robe and high heels that seemed to accentuate her already 7 feet long legs. He smiled slightly and crossed his arms.
"Now isn't this a pleasant sight to come into after a hard night at work."
"I thought it was the least I could do for all you've done for me tonight."she replied slowly sauntering up to him.
"Well, in that case I will have to agree with you." he replied kissing her shoulder pulling down the robe slightly.
"Ah ah ah..." she said wagging her finger.
"Business first, then pleasure... lots of it" she teased, kissing one of his fingers that had dragged down the center of her chest.
He pulled out the papers from his jacket and handed them to her. She smiled and took them from him.
"Did you get a chance to glance at the beauty that is in here?" she asked walking into the kitchen to sit at the table.
"Just a quick on just to check to see if it was the right papers but not really. What is it?"he asked pulling up a chair beside her. Smiling in excitement she brushed at something on her leg and then looked at him.
"It is a Gun Mock."
"A what?"
"A gun mock.... a mock up of a gun prototype that has been in the works for a very long time. And now with your help this gun can be made into reality. Sleek, powerful nearly unstoppable, just the thought of it really .... turns me on. Think you can help me with that?"she asked pulling open her robe just a bit with her left hand.
"Yeah?" he asked then smiled, thanking the gods that he decide to go into that house today. Licking his lips he leaned down to kiss her neck then traveled a bit south seeking out the soft mounds of heaven. He felt her touch his hair then and explosion of pain then nothing at all. Darling pouted her plump lips and sighed heavily.
"Yeah,... not really." she said to herself as she placed the gun on the table and pushed the dead young man to the floor. Looking to the floor she laughed silently to herself.
"You really can count on them not to glance at the floor when you are half naked..." she said out loud and marveled at the clear tarp that covered the floor that she had placed there moments before he arrived. Stepping over him and grabbing a towel from the hall closest she headed to the shower laughing........
As Markus Landus sneaked stealthy thought the unlocked and now forced opened window, he again asked himself why the hell he was doing this. It wasn't because he needed the money, and it for damn sure wasn't for the thrill, he thought as he racked his knee on a end table right inside the window.
"Ow!... God.... waffle!!!" he said, changing the word he meant to say at the last minute, reminding himself he had given up swearing for lint.
"Stupid da..table.... grrrr." he whispered to himself, rubbing his knee rigorously. Pulling out the small flashlight and switching it on he glanced around the room. Spare bedroom, he guessed as he noticed the sparse decoration. Leave it to Darling to tell him the wrong window to go in. According to her it was supposed to the Office room. He was supposed to be able to get in, grab the papers out of the 2nd drawer in the cabinet and get right back out. But no, now he was going to have to search out the office by playing hide and seek with the owners of this lovely home.
Shaking his head, he wondered why again he was in this damn house... it was ok if he only thought the swear words, wasn't it? Then again, Breaking and Entering and then stealing was probably a bit higher up on the list of sins than swearing wasn't it? Either way he needed to get this done so he could get the hell out. He, quietly and slowly, turned the knob of the door and pulled it open to glance out.He froze. Afraid to move a muscle his mind raced as he heard something. A voice drifted out to him from down the hall. He knew that voice.It was that Evangelical guru that spoke to the masses on television. He rolled his eyes in annoyance at the fact he was ready to run like a scared little girl screaming for his mommy at that voice.
Straightening up he pulled his shoulders back and took a deep breath. I can do this, he thought. Darling asked him to do this and he agreed. Now he had to be and man and keep his word.
He stepped through the door and tip toed down the hall. The first door on his right lead to a small bathroom,dimly lit by a nightlight. As he passed it, he smelled a faint aroma of peaches drifting out of it. Walking slowly he pressed on in the darkness, his hand running along the wall hoping to feel the edge of the wall when it came. He didn't have to wait long. As he stepped forward. around the sharp corner of the wall he saw a dim light filtering through a crack in one of the doors. Seeing it as a beckoning beacon calling his name, or like the blue light of the Zapper calling to the mosquito, he stepped toward it, thinking at least now he wasn't in complete darkness and perhaps the office he was looking for was through that door. If it was occupied he could claim to Darling he was unable to grab the papers because someone was in there, and if it was empty he could stride in there and grab them without even turning on the light, that already shone brightly. So consumed in his thoughts, that this might nearly be over, his caution dissipated too early and he tripped falling face first, barely getting his hands down in front of him in time to keep his head from smacking against the carpeted floor. Looking around he spotted his feet tangled up in a bag of trash.
"Who the hell places Garbage in the middle of their hallway like that, that's downright dangerous?" He seethed quietly as he tried to righten himself back up.
"What the hell was that?" he heard a gruff voice snap from a room that came from above.
"Damn!" he whispered, giving up all intentions on the swearing. He quickly untangled himself and ran to the door with the light. Quickly peeking in and noticing it was empty, he went in and closed the door behind him, locking it against the gruff voiced man he was sure was heading to him at this very moment.
"Right. Now I am in the office I need."
He glanced around and spotted the cabinet that Darling spoke about and reached for the 2nd drawer. In it contained the paperwork. Snatching it and throwing it in his jacket, he searched for an alternative way out. Seeing nothing he began to swear silently to himself. Hearing footsteps heading in his direction he again checked the lock and shut off the light. To his amazement, once the light was shut off he saw a glimmer of light coming from behind the cabinet, that he now recognized was covering up a window. Pushing the cabinet to the side he threw open the window and climbed out just as the door knob began to jiggle.
Trying to calm his breathing he headed back to Darlings place to get rid of the stupid papers that he just risked his life for in return for maybe if he was lucky a good romp or even just a wicked BJ. He shook his head at his stupidity but with the slight anticipation of what may come as the reward for what he just accomplished. He rang the doorbell to the apartment, that happened to sit in one of the shadier neighborhoods in town.
"Hello?" Asked the seductive, raspy voice.
"Hey Dar, I got it... Ring me in." he answered into the intercom and waited for the buzz to open the door. Three flights later, because the elevator broke down decades ago and no one bothered to fix it, he finally came to her door and just walked in. Darling stood in the living room against the wall wearing nothing but a tiny black robe and high heels that seemed to accentuate her already 7 feet long legs. He smiled slightly and crossed his arms.
"Now isn't this a pleasant sight to come into after a hard night at work."
"I thought it was the least I could do for all you've done for me tonight."she replied slowly sauntering up to him.
"Well, in that case I will have to agree with you." he replied kissing her shoulder pulling down the robe slightly.
"Ah ah ah..." she said wagging her finger.
"Business first, then pleasure... lots of it" she teased, kissing one of his fingers that had dragged down the center of her chest.
He pulled out the papers from his jacket and handed them to her. She smiled and took them from him.
"Did you get a chance to glance at the beauty that is in here?" she asked walking into the kitchen to sit at the table.
"Just a quick on just to check to see if it was the right papers but not really. What is it?"he asked pulling up a chair beside her. Smiling in excitement she brushed at something on her leg and then looked at him.
"It is a Gun Mock."
"A what?"
"A gun mock.... a mock up of a gun prototype that has been in the works for a very long time. And now with your help this gun can be made into reality. Sleek, powerful nearly unstoppable, just the thought of it really .... turns me on. Think you can help me with that?"she asked pulling open her robe just a bit with her left hand.
"Yeah?" he asked then smiled, thanking the gods that he decide to go into that house today. Licking his lips he leaned down to kiss her neck then traveled a bit south seeking out the soft mounds of heaven. He felt her touch his hair then and explosion of pain then nothing at all. Darling pouted her plump lips and sighed heavily.
"Yeah,... not really." she said to herself as she placed the gun on the table and pushed the dead young man to the floor. Looking to the floor she laughed silently to herself.
"You really can count on them not to glance at the floor when you are half naked..." she said out loud and marveled at the clear tarp that covered the floor that she had placed there moments before he arrived. Stepping over him and grabbing a towel from the hall closest she headed to the shower laughing........
